


First Kisses

by Ophiel



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drinking & Talking, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5502515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ophiel/pseuds/Ophiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sharing embarrassing first kiss stories over a drink at the Rest. Because reasons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Kisses

“You’re shitting me,” Bull laughed, slamming his flagon down on the wooden table. “That’s not how it happened!” Though their table was making a lot of noise, the patrons of the Herald’s Rest knew that was only to be expected when the Inquisitor and her guests and party gathered for drinks. 

 

“No, really, Tiny,” Varric waved his own flagon grandiosely as lute music fell from the fingers of the lutist who played for the patrons. “I kissed her. That’s when I knew, Bianca here was the love of my life.”

 

“I’m pretty sure you’re talking about the crossbow, not the girl, right?” Cullen laughed, the glass of West Hills Brandy at his lips. 

 

“Curly!” Varric looked shocked. “Do you even need to ask?”

 

“Awe, come on, Varric,” Bull said. “I told you about that hottie in Seheron. Least you can do is share a good story.”

 

“You don’t kiss and tell, Bull,” Cullen said. 

 

“Besides, we’re in the presence of a King,” Blackwall added. 

 

“Yeah, no crown, I’d like you all to notice,” Alistair piped up, nursing his mead. “Tell all the dirty stories you want.”

 

“Was your first kiss with the Queen? Did she call you Alibear in the middle of the Blight?” Sera asked.

 

Cullen snorted into his cup.

 

“You need something, Cullybuns?” Sera asked, imitating the Inquisitor’s voice with surprising accuracy.  

 

Cullen’s cheeks mottled. “Stop that.”

 

“But I don’t want to tell the story!” Alistair whined. “Also, Cullybuns?”

 

“Stop trying to deflect,” Cullen snapped, blushing and not meeting Alistair’s eyes. 

 

“Well, if the King started, Varric would have to tell us his,” said Bull. “It’d be practically law, wouldn’t it?”

 

“I agree,” Blackwall said. “Set a good example, your Majesty!”

 

Alistair groaned and buried his head in his hands. “Fine… I kissed a person in the Redcliffe Windmill…”

 

There was silence. “A girl, alright?”

 

“There’s something else,” Bull noted. “Ben Hasrath training, can’t hide it from me.”

 

Alistair pouted discontentedly at him, then looked away blushing. “I was ten.”

 

“Precocious!” Varric exclaimed. “I’m writing that down!” 

 

“What else were you doing in the windmill?” Blackwall asked mercilessly.

 

“Nothing!” Alistair exclaimed. 

 

“He’s lying,” Bull grinned. 

 

“I hate you. You’re a bad person. Fine! We were sort of… wondering what’s the difference between boys and girls, alright? She showed me and I show…” His words mumbled into incomprehensibility in the fire of their grins, eyes sparkling with amusement. “Then she kissed me and I pushed her away and ran, alright? It was gross! For a ten year old anyway.” 

 

“Does that even count?” Cullen asked over the laughter at the table.

 

“Oh? What’s yours then?”

 

“Shit.”

 

“I am your king, Cullen.” Alistair raised a finger before Cullen could retort. “Ah! We’re going round the table. No one’s getting away with this, if I had to tell it.”

 

“I wasn’t part of this deal!” 

 

“In my experience, people with something to hide tend to be less forthcoming,” Bull goaded. 

 

Cullen sighed heavily. “If you must know… It was the flower girl from Honnleath. I was thirteen, we weren’t showing each other anything, I didn’t push her away and run.”

 

“Wot’d’ju do then?” Sera demanded. 

 

“She kissed me goodbye because I was leaving to be a Templar.”

 

“Where were you?” Alistair asked. 

 

“By the statue… Shale’s never forgiven me. Hurt her eyes, apparently.”

 

“Did she use tongue?” Sera demanded

 

“Do you need that detail?”

 

“You used tongue!” She pointed at him excitedly.

 

Cullen’s cheeks were glowing now. “I-- That is entirely inappropriate to say, and- and-”

 

“He used tongue,” Blackwall laughed. 

 

“At thirteen? Cullen, I’m impressed,” Alistair grinned. “How was it?”

 

“Maker!” 

 

“Do I have to drag every detail out of you?”

 

“It was wet. She wasn’t prepared. I licked her face before I got it right,” Cullen grumbled into his cup. “Next!” The others burst out into uproarious laughter

 

“Is it just me or do Templars start really young?” Varric snorted. 

 

“We kiss people outside of the Templars,” Alistair said, “you’re sort of discouraged from kissing people who are also Templars.” He looked at Cullen who was glancing away and blushing as he drank his whiskey. “NO! Cullen! You dog!”

 

“You kiss a fellow Warden!” 

 

“Actually, that’s true.”

 

“Next person!” Cullen snapped, his cheeks aflame. 

 

“I might as well go next,” Blackwall grinned. He leaned back and stroked his beard. “Ah, she was beautiful, you know. A sweet lass from two streets down. Hair the colour of the sun and skin dappled like a field of wheat. All summer I’d admired her from afar, until I finally had the guts to go to her and talk to her. We snuck into her attic and we held hands, my heart beating with young love in my chest. I kissed those sweet rosy lips.” Blackwall sighed as the whole table listened, enraptured. 

 

“What then?” Cullen asked. 

 

“Then? Then I threw up.”

 

“What?” Cullen exclaimed. 

 

“All over her dress. I was nervous.”

 

“Maker’s breath!” Alistair exclaimed over the roar of laughter at the table. 

 

“Needless to say, we didn’t speak afterwards. Young love,” Blackwall sighed. 

 

“Mine was this girl, yeah?” Sera piped up. “She had big bappies. I kind of like big bappies. Like Aliebear and Cullybuns, yeah?”

 

“Sera, I told you, focus beyond those big tits,” Bull said as Cullen choked on his whiskey. Alistair was being tactfully quiet. 

 

“Yeah? Well she had a nice pair o' breakfast buns too,” Sera snorted. “Breakfast buns!”

 

“I’m going to use that one,” Blackwall chuckled. 

 

“Anyway, we kissed. It was nice cos of baps.”

 

“Good story!” Varric grinned. “Nothing embarrasing?”

 

“Naw, I kiss good,” Sera waved her hand. “I dunno what’s wrong with you lot. Boys are weird!” 

 

“Now that only leaves Varric,” Bull said. 

 

Varric shrugged. “I’m telling you, gentlemen don’t kiss and tell,” he said, caressing the hilt of his crossbow lovingly, his eyes growing soft. “Needless to say, it was with the love of my life.” 


End file.
